Transcription of the memorial speech I gave at my dad's funeral

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There are so many things I could say about my dad. Over the past few days when I'd stop to think about it, memories would come rushing back to me that I had totally forgotten about. A lot of them make me sad but mostly, they are things that made me laugh. So I’ve decided to share a few of those memories because they are the things that I always want to remember about who he was and how wonderful he was to me…

Memory #1:

He always let me sit in the bar when he worked at Westhill Lanes Bowling Alley. But he made it clear that if the boss ever saw me in there he would be in BIG TROUBLE, so, as much as I liked being in the bar, I was perpetually living in fear of being found out by the BOSS.

Memory #2:

He had purchased a used, gigantic, white Oldsmobile with light blue interior, which he drove around for a long time. The glove compartment had a rip in it and the previous owner had taken the liberty of covering up this rip with a sticker that said “I heart my cat!” with a drawing of a cat. My dad wasn’t too fond of animals, or at least he said he wasn’t. I can hear his voice distinctly in my head yelling at the cat or dog to “git outta here!” I was always perplexed by this because for the longest time I thought he had put that sticker there. Once I learned that it had already been there, I wondered why he didn’t just change it.

Memory #3:

My dad used to let me drive around the parking lot behind the bowling alley to prepare for the big day when I was finally old enough to drive. Little did I know, that day would come earlier than I thought- when I was all of TEN years old. After many laps around the lot I guess he felt confident in my skills and said “wanna drive the rest of the way home?” to which I replied “yeah!” until I realized he was serious and then I said “NO!” But he made me do it anyway and wouldn’t you know, I get to a 4-way stop and there’s a cop right there to my left. With my dad unphased by this, I did everything in my power to try and look older (which amounted to sitting up as straight as possible). Luckily, I didn’t get caught and I made it home. I think that’s when I started to wonder if he was a little crazy.

Memory #4 (and the last one, because if I don’t stop now, I never will): I was in 7^th grade and I came home from school to find a large chopping knife in my bed. I carried the knife out to the living room where my dad was and asked in a bewildered tone “WHERE did this KNIFE come from???” He asked me where I found it and I told him it was lying on my bed! He said he had no idea whatsoever. I was completely freaked out and didn’t know why he wasn’t calling the police. Eventually, I let it go and went to sleep. A few days later, It was my birthday and I found out the real story behind the mystery knife. As a birthday present, my dad was installing a private phone line in my room for me and, in doing so, managed to leave that knife in my bed. When I has asked him about it, he didn’t want to ruin the surprise, so he…very sweetly…let me believe there was a murderer prowling around somewhere.

Like I said, this is how I want to remember my dad; funny and weird, unexpected and confusing. While sometimes it was hard to figure him out, one thing was for sure , if you were in his life, he truly loved you. In the end when he wouldn’t really speak much and you’d ask him if he was hungry, there’d be a long pause and he would finally say “I don’t know.” But when I’d return from a trip I would say hello and ask "did ya miss me?" Without taking a second to think about it, he would nod his head and say “yeah!”

Today if you asked me if I’m going to miss him, I wouldn’t even need a second to think about it.