today was a crying day. i was overly emotional, i suppose.
here are the things that set me off:

1st-my co-worker, travis, was spraying this UV spray practically in my office, the toxic fumes were hovering in the air. yesterday, i left work and noted that my chest and lungs felt funny due to the inhaling of this stuff. i've complained several times but nobody will do anything about it. so when he started it up again first thing in the morning i just put my head down on my desk and started to cry. my boss walked through the room and said "NO SLEEPING ON THE CLOCK!"

2nd-i looked at a picture this woman emailed me to get printed at my work. it was a baby sitting in a little washtub. he was naked and you could see his little penis and it was so small that it just looked like a button. he had his arms resting on either side of him on the rim of the washtub and he had some suds on his face. you could see somebody's hand in front of him to ensure his balance. this made me cry a little because, a. the baby was cute b.more-so because i was struck with the sudden feeling that someone owns this little baby and loves him to death and that i may never know that feeling myself. in other words...self-pity.

3rd- when i have to close at work, that means i have at least a half an hour of sitting around waiting. during these times, i unwind by google image searching various baby animals. this simple act brightens my mood drastically and then i get to go home. this evening, after looking at pictures of red pandas, i looked at cuteoverload.com, a website i haven't perused in a long time. THREE things on there made my eyes misty, if i had been alone, i would've let loose, i'm sure, but in the presence of others, i try to hold it together a little more.

thing 1- there are three videos of a pygmy anteater crawling around on peoples' arms and on a plant. this is the first i've seen of this creature and i couldn't be more pleased. it overwhelmed me.

thing 2- pictures of Martha Stewart with her big puffy chow named PAW PAW right before jesus took him up to heaven. i went deeper in and visited her blog and read all the sad things she had to say about her doggy dying. it tore me up.

thing 3- the story accompanied by pictures of this guy who rescued all these baby ducks by catching EIGHT of them in his hands as they took turns jumping off a ledge outside of his office window. then, he piled them into a box and walked with the mom duck, through the crowded streets, to the water where he reunited them. the mom duck was thankful and swam around in circles honking at him. sounds fake but there are PICTURES!

even driving home, my eyes were watery, for no apparent reason. i guess i'm holding a lot of feelings in these days, and this is how they escape.