ginger lavender lemon

2011-10-12T02:21:00.000-07:00

creepy pieces of mail

2011-06-27T17:59:00.001-07:00

this was a wonderful piece of mail sent to my deceased father almost 2 years after his passing. if only he had received this in time. everyone loves winning something!

here's another letter sent to our house. what would have to be wrong with my brain to make me believe that someone actually hand-wrote that note to us on the back of this envelope? being old I guess.

2011-06-15T20:10:00.000-07:00

super quotes from Robert Rauschenberg from the book RAUSCHENBERG 1987:

"I always feel that if I can't do something that I don't like, then I'm losing my touch. I think the role of the artist is not to be good, but to be something else. "Good" is measurable..."

"I like the experience that says that a shirt changes when it gets in the sun a little, or when you go swimming in it, or when the dog sleeps on it. I like the history of objects. I like humanitarian reportage."

"Actually, when I'm painting, I think that my mental attitude is to drive with the brakes on, and when I sense a funny smell, then I just turn off the ignition."

"I said that if you can avoid being an artist, do so. And if you decide that you can't avoid being an artist, good luck."

2011-04-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

my eskimo doll shrunk!
top: me at 4 years old
bottom: me at 30 years old.
same house...glaringly absent, my plush my little pony doll!

how to catch a predator

2011-04-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

found on the floor of caesar's palace, las vegas, nv, march, 2010

2011-04-14T00:22:00.000-07:00

hello again world

2011-01-21T08:38:00.000-08:00

i have been on hiatus for a while because i didn't really have internet access while i was in italy. day #2 back in action, i'm starting to think i'm better off without it. but i did manage to make one amazing piece of digital art today. here it is.

no pocky for kitty

2010-10-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

why is it so hard to find a home for a sweetheart kitty these days?
I placed an ad on petfinder dotcom and that proved to be a completely fruitless effort.
after getting two bogusey responses I went to look back at my ad and couldn't even find it.
so lame!
I eventually got one more bogus response. no real ones. all it did was piss me off.
here they are for your scrutiny (keep in mind the ad was placed from las vegas, nv):

#1
Hi, I just came across your ad on Petfinder and I would love to get some additional information and a photo. I live in Dallas Texas and Ive been trying to find the right pet to add to our family. I cant believe that with pet overpopulation the way it is that I'm
unable to find what I'm looking for locally. I guess that's a good thing. I travel a lot for business and would like my wife to have a companion at home. I look forward to your reply. Sincerely

Kerry.

#2
How are you doing with your adorable pet? i am responding to your advert placement on Pet- Finder.com concerning your re homing of your pet for adoption...I am highly interested in adopting your pet for my family because we don't have any pet we are rearing for now in the house..so I will urge you to consider my family for the adoption especially for Kerry celebration that is approaching.. she we be adding a year to her age soon and i really want to adopt a pet for her ...more so I will need some vital information from you about the pet. Are you the actual owner of the pet? when last did the pet visit the veteran doctor for medical check up and also i want you to get back to me as soon as you can with the last asking price for the adorable pet and what he or she like eating most...I will be looking to hear back from you.....I will also like some photos of the pet if it available...

Hope to hear back from you soon.....

Mathew Theodore

and wonderful #3
With sound of good health. Am a family orientated woman and want to seek for your indulgence on your loving pet.Am Michelle Lawson by name.I reside in Beverly Hills CA with my husband,my 13 yrs old daughter and we live in our own owned house. I can assure you a loving and hospitality home for your pet.My family will love to give your pet a loving home and not only a lovely home, also as a member of the family which means the pet will be treated like our child Could you be kind enough to give me an appraisal of it:
Health records/present health condition?
your last asking price ahead of time?
Am not here to bargain, rather I'll make the best offer. Because i know the value of pet and my daughter can't wait to see the pet in the house.looking
forward to hear from you.Have a pleasant morning
Stay Blessed

Mrs Lawson

Pets become a part of our hearts-
we adopt them as family right from the start.
We cast all our love on their kind, gentle souls, but, like you and I- they
too, grow old.
When we grow tired and weary, God gave us a choice- we have doctor's and
care, but our pets have no voice.
We may understand why we're changing this way, but a creature's language is
shown in his actions each day.
What they do with their bodies, how they act towards a friend- is their way
of saying their time's at an end.
And, as wonderful a gift as our "Free Will" can be, It pains us to choose
our loved pet's destiny.
When we see them in pain, our hearts say one thing- when we see them lash
out, we deny what truth rings.
For we don't want to lose the precious one that we've loved- but like humans
on earth they'll live on up above.
Oh. I know how you weep at making this choice- as you speak for your pet as
he has no voice.
You are kind, you are loving, and I know you have tried- to ration and
reason with the truth that's inside.
No one said life was easy, of this we can say- and I know you're heart's
breaking on this tragic day.
But, trust in your heart what your instincts have said- That God is guiding
you amongst all your dread.
I weep for you now as I know your heart aches- but my love is with you as
your decision you make.
God gave you the gift of some wonderful years- with a pet who was healthy
and healed many tears.
But now it's his time, for he's not the same pet- and I say this with
sadness, with tears and regret.
"For every thing there's a season," remember, and then, "A place for every
purpose, under Heaven."

....
does anyone have a clue as to why the first guy's name is Kerry and then the 2nd email references "Kerry celebration that is approaching" ? a little too odd, i think.

2010-09-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

2010-08-31T15:44:00.000-07:00

pretty, huh?

2010-08-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Jennifer Rose and I decided to try our hand at this cake that has been the topic of much discussion. There are two recipes, one is mainly a white cake recipe with food coloring for the different layers and the other one has fruit mixed into the layers, kind of corresponding to the colors. We didn't think putting all the fruit into it was going to make that big of a difference in the impact of the cake, especially since the purple layer was GRAPES....grapes? i don't know. I'm sure the fruit one would be yummy but we used a box white cake mix, scraped some organic vanilla beans into it and frosted the layers and outside with cream cheese frosting and it tasted GREAT! and the wow factor was totally worth it when we cut it open.

The other thing we realized about this cake is that it can be made in any colors you want! we didn't stick to the conventional rainbow, we just mixed variations such as "coral" and "aztec blue"
This is also 2 box cakes worth of cake here.

REAL SHREDDED MONEY

2010-08-13T18:15:00.000-07:00

welcome to Las Vegas!

Long Beach, CA August 2010

preliminary drawing

2010-08-10T01:47:00.000-07:00

2010-08-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

Los Angeles, CA July, 2010

Venice Beach, CA July 2010

2010-07-17T12:28:00.000-07:00

from amidst the dirty laundry was born a tiny cat.

2010-06-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

Kho-Shin Wong-Davis
Roma, Italia May 20, 2010

hubba hubba

2010-06-17T23:07:00.000-07:00

The young Mick Jagger, John Cusack, Keanu Reeves and Chevy Chase.

"famous actors best selves are immortalized in celluloid forever," said kho.

Good Lord!
My heart still flutters when i look at these young adorable guys.
That picture of Keanu is my new hair goal. He looks like such a pretty girl!

photo of mick jagger "borrowed" from the very great photographer Ian Wright, 1965, who shot with a Rolleiflex!

2010-06-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Amarillo, TX./ Columbia, MO.

2010-06-08T10:21:00.001-07:00

italy contact sheets

2010-06-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

CALIFORNIA

2010-06-05T15:24:00.001-07:00

2010-04-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

I had to buy these. I'm a sucker for awesome stamps and, ABSTRACT EXPRESSIONISM? Are you kidding me? a must have. They're all much bigger than normal stamps but the Jackson Pollock one is huge, it's like 2"x3" or so. I can't wait to use these. Everyone can expect some artsy letters from me in the near future!

2010-04-28T18:24:00.000-07:00

me in high school.
i just came across this 8x10 print in an old binder full of crappy high school photo projects.
i have no recollection of taking this but BOY is it moody!

2010-04-26T23:06:00.000-07:00

there's only 293 days left till my wedding!! please check out our registry and see what you can afford to get us.

2010-04-24T23:36:00.000-07:00

sort of a self portrait

2010-04-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

Cling
8.5x11" ink and watercolors on paper

2010-04-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

FLOATING LOVERS
16x20 acrylic on garage sale canvas

it was really hard to photograph this painting.

2010-04-12T11:41:00.000-07:00

things i am completely sick of that i used to be a fan of:
"whipped" cream cheese
shows about hoarding
shows about dwarves who are just boring small people
tv in general
socks

2010-04-11T13:05:00.000-07:00

the Real World

2010-04-10T23:49:00.000-07:00

2010-04-09T16:30:00.000-07:00

29 years old and glow-in-the-dark stuff still fascinates me! these are some new Morgan's Orange record covers I have been asked to make. I figured, as long as they involved fruits, flowers, mushrooms, stars, glitter and googley eyes that I kinda couldn't go wrong.

Life Insurance.

2010-03-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

...the most ironic piece of mail ever sent to a dead man.

2010-03-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a dream where a crab was obsessively in love with me. The little guy was following me around and I kept finding claws laying around. It was like he was falling apart in front of my eyes to prove some sort of devotion. I was trying to figure out how to tell him that I wasn't ready for an exclusive relationship.
This is one of the most retarded dreams I've ever had.

2010-02-20T22:52:00.000-08:00

small-scale version of a piece for an installation I am working on with Jennie Bastian.

2010-01-16T20:22:00.000-08:00

There's this place in the desert that is a sea of broken glass, ceramics and rusted metal all from the 1950s. Everywhere you look there are coffee mugs with floral patterns, sardine cans and bottles with cartoonish pictures on them. Walking around there is like looking for sea glass on the beach x100! It is a beautiful, dangerous heaven and I kinda want to live there.

2010-01-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

2009-12-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

priming these canvases with black gesso felt like a really good thing to do today. christmas is over, it's almost a new year and it's time to get paintin'!

one more reason to leave Las Vegas

2009-12-16T18:22:00.000-08:00

my favorite place in Las Vegas has shut down. That's right ladies and gentlemen, the Square Apple is closed for business. I took as many people as I could there and tried to expose its greatness to the world but I guess that wasn't enough. Maybe it will reopen one of these days? But this is Las Vegas and the little guys never make it. I hate it. It has always been that way.
I will remember the good times there and I will go see Touch of Silk, my favorite motown R&B act, at Club Fortune casino as soon as I can.
goddangit!

2009-12-08T18:52:00.000-08:00

2009-12-08T09:36:00.001-08:00

i've never been so thankful to have a job, yet hated the job so much in my life.

2009-12-05T11:20:00.000-08:00

social light

2009-12-01T19:12:00.000-08:00

job interview

fuck interview magazine

2009-11-25T22:55:00.001-08:00

you know what? it's been like over two years and i just realized i'm still mad about this. ok, so i had done a photo shoot with sara beck, aka pink nasty, previously. mind you, i was using film and lights and the whole shebang. they turned out great and are quite frequently associated with little write ups and interviews about her music. a while after that, i get a call from sara, or her brother ted, i don't remember, asking if i can come over and take some pictures of her with a crappy digital point and shoot because interview magazine is doing a review and they urgently needed a photo to go with it and it has to be one that wasn't used elsewhere. no time to do film. so i'm like, yeah, i guess i can do that but it's probably going to suck. then i get it in my head that if i can borrow my boss's really nice digital SLR, which i have no experience using at all, that i will be able to come up with something a lot nicer. the becks think this is a good idea, my boss agrees, loans me the stuff, i go over and take a bunch of pictures. while at their house, i realize i have no idea how to use this camera with all its fancy buttons and menus. however. despite this, i do manage to collect some decent images. most of them were me trying to fiddle with the exposure settings and stuff, but there were a few i thought were downright beautiful.
we did some timed exposures, or "ghosting" shots that turned out nicely but the one i thought was it, was this one of sara, looking incredibly stoic and soft. she looks like a gerhard richter painting, i'm certain of it. i had taken one shot perfectly in focus, and another one really out of focus and then through modern technology, sandwiched the two to make this lovely (or so i thought!) composite that shed a fabulous light on our dear musician friend, quite literally.
i sent them a handful of images i liked and expected that one of them would be chosen. i felt like i had accomplished something through great adversity and i could feel proud. i thought an artful publication such as INTERVIEW would see the artistic merit in my haphazard- yet-stunning portrait.
well, apparently, interview magazine said "no way!" and they went with a FAR more whimsical and fun-loving shot that had been snapped by her sister out in the yard with a point and shoot. just goes to show you, you shouldn't bother trying to do anything ever.

2009-11-21T13:08:00.000-08:00

WHAT A GIRL WANTS
6.25"x10" prismacolor on arches paper

2009-11-21T12:03:00.000-08:00

states i've been to.

2009-11-20T16:02:00.000-08:00

visited 35 states (70%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

2009-11-19T17:32:00.000-08:00

"MEADOWS"

2009-11-13T11:08:00.000-08:00

...if i ever write a book...

2009-11-12T10:15:00.000-08:00

"IDAHO" 8X10 watercolor+gouache+pencil on Arches paper

2009-11-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

"PORTLAND" 8X10 watercolor+gouache on Arches paper

MY CARD, SIR

2009-11-09T11:11:00.000-08:00

rhyolite, nv

2009-11-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

...a ghost town. with ghosts?

2009-11-02T20:33:00.000-08:00

"The source of all art, the source of all creativity, is love. If anybody thinks there is something more important, I would like to know what it is."
-David Hockney

2009-10-31T00:36:00.000-07:00

i made this kat for my mom's birthday. for some reason i have had an urge to make a doll, and this was a good time to see it through. i don't believe i've ever made one before but i had a feeling if i just used my best judgment, it would turn out at least ok. i'm happy with it and i think my mom is going to love it! i didn't give him a name yet, i'm going to leave that up to my mom. but i vote for gene since i was watching gene wilder in young frankenstein while i made it.

t a l k i n g h e a d s c o v e r b a n d

2009-10-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

they are called same as it never was. hey, if i can't see the actual talking heads, i'll watch these guys instead! they are from salt lake city, utah.

2009-10-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

new zine! now with INTERVIEWS!

what ^ girlfriend

2009-10-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

Here are two letters my mom has kept for some reason. They resurfaced when we were looking through pictures. They are pretty stupid!

5th grade
I used to think you had to start every letter with "Hi, how are you? I'm fine." I am shocked to learn that I had a cursive typewriter in my possession at some point in my childhood and didn't even know it!

6th grade

2009-10-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

Transcription of the memorial speech I gave at my dad's funeral

...

There are so many things I could say about my dad. Over the past few days when I'd stop to think about it, memories would come rushing back to me that I had totally forgotten about. A lot of them make me sad but mostly, they are things that made me laugh. So I’ve decided to share a few of those memories because they are the things that I always want to remember about who he was and how wonderful he was to me…

Memory #1:

He always let me sit in the bar when he worked at Westhill Lanes Bowling Alley. But he made it clear that if the boss ever saw me in there he would be in BIG TROUBLE, so, as much as I liked being in the bar, I was perpetually living in fear of being found out by the BOSS.

Memory #2:

He had purchased a used, gigantic, white Oldsmobile with light blue interior, which he drove around for a long time. The glove compartment had a rip in it and the previous owner had taken the liberty of covering up this rip with a sticker that said “I heart my cat!” with a drawing of a cat. My dad wasn’t too fond of animals, or at least he said he wasn’t. I can hear his voice distinctly in my head yelling at the cat or dog to “git outta here!” I was always perplexed by this because for the longest time I thought he had put that sticker there. Once I learned that it had already been there, I wondered why he didn’t just change it.

Memory #3:

My dad used to let me drive around the parking lot behind the bowling alley to prepare for the big day when I was finally old enough to drive. Little did I know, that day would come earlier than I thought- when I was all of TEN years old. After many laps around the lot I guess he felt confident in my skills and said “wanna drive the rest of the way home?” to which I replied “yeah!” until I realized he was serious and then I said “NO!” But he made me do it anyway and wouldn’t you know, I get to a 4-way stop and there’s a cop right there to my left. With my dad unphased by this, I did everything in my power to try and look older (which amounted to sitting up as straight as possible). Luckily, I didn’t get caught and I made it home. I think that’s when I started to wonder if he was a little crazy.

Memory #4 (and the last one, because if I don’t stop now, I never will): I was in 7^th grade and I came home from school to find a large chopping knife in my bed. I carried the knife out to the living room where my dad was and asked in a bewildered tone “WHERE did this KNIFE come from???” He asked me where I found it and I told him it was lying on my bed! He said he had no idea whatsoever. I was completely freaked out and didn’t know why he wasn’t calling the police. Eventually, I let it go and went to sleep. A few days later, It was my birthday and I found out the real story behind the mystery knife. As a birthday present, my dad was installing a private phone line in my room for me and, in doing so, managed to leave that knife in my bed. When I has asked him about it, he didn’t want to ruin the surprise, so he…very sweetly…let me believe there was a murderer prowling around somewhere.

Like I said, this is how I want to remember my dad; funny and weird, unexpected and confusing. While sometimes it was hard to figure him out, one thing was for sure , if you were in his life, he truly loved you. In the end when he wouldn’t really speak much and you’d ask him if he was hungry, there’d be a long pause and he would finally say “I don’t know.” But when I’d return from a trip I would say hello and ask "did ya miss me?" Without taking a second to think about it, he would nod his head and say “yeah!”

Today if you asked me if I’m going to miss him, I wouldn’t even need a second to think about it.

2009-10-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

I will pretend to be a football fan for anyone I love.

2009-09-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

Michael A. Uselding

2.12.1945- 9.26.2009

He was my step-dad, but I consider him my father. People even said I looked like him.
He and my mom were married in 1983, then divorced in 1992 and remarried in 1993. He was a funny guy; a Vietnam vet and a bad-ass. He let me break all the rules all the time and would always say "don't tell your mother I let you do this, she would SHIT!"
I remember him telling me that he didn't care if I wanted to smoke but just don't try to hide it. I was probably 12 or 13 at the time. At that, I was appalled and I told my mom who was equally appalled. It's probably due to that incident that I never have smoked even one cigarette to this day.
My dad used very profane language and didn't try to hide it from the kids, ever. My friends can recall overhearing him on the telephone talking to one of his buddies and, affectionately, referring to them as a "cocksucker."
I wish I still had some of his classic t-shirts now because I would so wear them. My favorite one is:
"I don't get mad....(picture of an angry little monster) ...I get EVEN!" in a sparkly iron-on transfer.
He absolutely loved Dean Martin and Elvis; he was from the old school. One of his favorite moments was sitting in the front row at a Dean Martin concert and getting to share a martini with Dino, himself.
Ahhh, I have lots of funny memories of him. And a lot of sad ones from the past 15 or so years after he had his first stroke while driving. Luckily the only thing that died that day was the car.
My dad was diabetic and pretty much ate and and drank everything he wasn't supposed to. He always had to have a screwdriver (which I was trained to make for him early on) and smoked like crazy. He regulated it with insulin but he was close to death on many, many occasions. If it wasn't for my mom always being there for him, he would have been a goner years ago. I had to call the paramedics once because he was slumped over in his chair and unresponsive and I freaked out. He was alright after they brought his blood sugar back to where it was supposed to be but I was extremely shaken up. My mom was the only person who knew just how to take care of him.
He was always appreciative of my mom and how loyal she was. She just showed me a note he had written to her two years ago on her birthday. In the scrawl of someone who's hands and fingers had lost feeling, it said: "Ruth, I love you and all that you do for me." Then there was a drawing of a heart.
He could be a prick on the outside, but he was a real softy on the inside and that is what counts.
I'm glad he's out of his misery now but I'm sure gonna miss him.
I remember having a conversation about reincarnation with him ages ago where he stated that if he were able to choose, he would like to come back as a whale. So, I hope that yesterday at 1:24 pm, a momma whale was giving birth to a baby whale and decided to name him Mike.

The Beach

2009-09-22T19:56:00.001-07:00

(I rarely get wordy on this blog of mine, but sometimes I just feel like it. tonight, being one of those nights)

on a personal note...

Life is just a bunch of ups and downs iddinit? I'm happy as a bee on a flower one second and crushed like a bee under a bear paw the next.

I've been in California for about three weeks and it has made me think a lot and get excited for future things that I don't even know what they are yet!
I only have the vaguest sense of what to expect. I mean, this HAS to be a low point in my life (or so one would hope) ("one" being me).
I have obsessed over the lamest things this year and really let my bad side shine. Of course, my circumstances at home in Las Vegas have been pretty sad. It's really hard to see my mom struggling with my dad and his disabilities all the time. And to witness the steady decline of his health while I stand by, unsure of what to do or if there's anything I can do at all.
The only thing the guy ever asks for is a soda.
I have felt guilty for being there and guilty when I leave and my goal to move in the near future makes me feel like I'm abandoning them all together. But I gotta.

Despite all that, I've also had a lot of fun times this past year, partially due to the very fact that I don't have a job, but I do have tons of time. The only downfall being that I'm so broke that sometimes I feel like my friends are adults while I'm still a little kid. I worry that I'm doing something wrong. Yet, it feels kinda right.

I spent 14 days in the North East in August and had so much fun. I was really convinced i need to move to Philly asap. But then I went to Tennessee and had an amazing time there as well. Then I came to California and realized, gee, I have a lot of friends here and I could meet famous people all the time if I lived in l.a., plus, I wouldn't be too far away from home. So who knows?
Really, if someone does know, please tell me.

Last week I had one of the best days ever. I ate vegan carrot cake, met Seth Green and Michael Ian black (big fan of M.I.B.) in a totally nonchalant way, saw mom and and baby raccoons crossing the street, only to end the night having dinner with Jennifer at my favorite Long Beach Restaurant, Open Sesame.
on Sunday, I finally got to go to the beach and it was the perfect scenario; playing in waves, laying in the sun, all that jazz. I felt refreshed and giddy.
On those days, good things just happened and I went with it. I was feeling pretty awesome about life.

It's real easy to be a ball of stress and worry about everything...things that will never be resolved or if they are, another one is waiting right behind it to fill its place as if choosing skittles from a vending machine.
At night I have to try extra-super hard to not go crazy with the worries swirlin' about my head. I find myself counting, slowly, envisioning the numbers being drawn on a piece of paper in a fancy, calligraphic style.
But, sometimes you just have to be thankful for what's in front of you (even if {or especially if} it's just sunshine and good health) and sort the rest out later... if you get around to it. Know what I'm saying?

2009-09-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

2009-09-16T23:21:00.000-07:00

2009-09-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

i've been in california for 12 days and i still haven't been to the beach.

:-<

2009-09-10T11:41:00.001-07:00

2009-09-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

here's a picture haryn took of the baby-baby cutie bear, Biggens

sadly, i don't have the cord connecty for my camera so i can't post any fun things here till i get back to las vegas.
all i have been taking pictures of, anyway, is haryn's kitten, biggens, being unnaturally adorable.
lying on the bed, sitting in the dryer, sitting on tulle with a bow tied around his neck, sitting on a paper bag, lying on the computer screen, folded up in his bed etc.

that cat can do no wrong.

say goodbye to sorry

2009-09-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

finally done with artwork for david israel record. and i think i like it!

root canal haiku

2009-08-31T17:26:00.000-07:00

click make big

I have a silver tooth now!
(for the next 3 weeks)
kind of ghetto, kind of sweet.

sand?...wich

2009-08-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

tofurkey, provalone, tomatoes, lettuce, avocado, veganaise, flimsy white bread

Thanks to the internet and a simple search of the phrase "craving to eat sand" I have diagnosed my condition as being a disorder...an actual disorder!...called Pica (sounds cute huh? like a pikachu!). In a nutshell, it is what they call it when someone has a craving to eat non-edible things. Thank goodness my problem is that I only think about eating sand, occasionally (even though I never actually do and part of me thinks this is really just a desire to go to the beach) because some people have cravings to eat really atrocious stuff like FECES and COMET the cleaning stuff! Yow!
The theory is that wanting to eat weird things is usually linked to a mineral deficiency or anemia. Apparently, people in less developed countries will eat clay for its mineral-richness.
Why a mineral deficiency would make a person want to eat non-delicious things is sort of a mystery.
My solution is to make large sandwiches and stuff myself. Such as in the picture above.
I hope, also that soon I can take a trip to the beach where I might "accidentally" get some sand in my mouth. That should take care of it!

shred it and forget it

2009-08-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

...while i believe it is possible that there is a conceptual artist working at frye's electronics, it's more probable that this is a collaboration betwixt they: average, disgruntled worker given the task of shredding some paper for the shredder display and i: bored photographer who finds beauty in the mundane.
Regardless, i can see that some thought went into these compositions because they are quite lovely. the simple fact that some are full, some are not...i think it means something. something about love? patriotism? hmm, i'll have to think about it.
i also had no idea till i saw these how many small office model document shredders there were on the market. egads! too many choices!

2009-08-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

2009-08-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

jesse and i decided we should make another zine while he was in town. it's called sugr ksz based on a license plate we saw (the license plate surrounder said: "if you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair"...it also said SUGAR KISSES in a large decal on the back window...we were inspired and i've had that stupid song stuck in my head ever since).
it's cute, full color, numbered 1-22 and i really like it!

2009-08-18T18:42:00.000-07:00

coffee
coffee
hypochondriatic, i may be dying
working on artwork for david's record:

this is not it but it's one of many tries:

i'm narrowing in on the true path.

this week has sucked. it's only tuesday. oh no!
room too messy to think.
wallet too poor to buy things that make me happy like thai food.
i can't eat sugar and i'm pissing people off left and right.
SIGH

2009-08-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

2009-08-15T08:49:00.001-07:00

i've been commissioned to make an emoticon chart! this is like my dream project!
my dreams are...very modest.
it's going to be painted and drawn, but for now...

here is a collection of my faves:
:-) -just plain happy
:-D -amused, thrilled, excited!
:-o -shocked, concerned, worried
:-( -despair, malaise, sad, grumpy, sympathetic
:'-) -something is very cute or very sweet
:'-( -crying, sad, frustrated, unhappy
:-| -annoyed, unamused
:-/ -unsure, befuddled, disagreeing
>:-(( -super pissed
>:-| -super annoyed
:-# -worried, teeth clenched
:~)) -laughing, funny, good joke!
:-} -aww, precious, you're nice
:-[ -uuugh!, not cool!
:-] -gee whiz!, yay!
:>)) -hooray!
B-) -dude, cool-happy, i said something awesome
8-) -shocked but happy
8-O -OH NO! WHAT? bad news!
:-8 -vomit face (created by andrew) use if talking about someone's love life
@_@ -rolling eyes, gimme a break, c'mon
(-_-) -sigh, i can't deal with this right now
~_~ -going to sleep! catchin' zzzs
~:-( -grumpy baby

2009-08-14T18:20:00.000-07:00

victim found lying just inside of the doggie door this morning. poor thing.

2009-08-13T11:43:00.001-07:00

things i've thought about doing lately that i never really have considered before...

wearing a "wedding" ring, even though i'm not married. and never will be.

taking naked pictures of myself. as a means of removing myself from myself. (i feel i am too self-obsessed lately)

doing yoga and meditating.

lying about my age. (well, i haven't thought about it since i was under 18)

2009-08-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

this much water frightens me.

2009-07-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

here is an almost all-EXclusive map of Las Vegas I created just to show where some things in Las Vegas are based on some reviews I helped my friend Katie with. it is for an online magazine called takethehandle.com. I am no map-maker and even after creating this I can still say that's true. i had no concept of how to make one. i only came up with this out of sheer desperation and a deadline. if i could work on it some more i would add flourishes like other things and buildings. but...at least if you are in las vegas and need to buy a guitar, you will roughly have a vague idea about where cowtown guitars is. and not go to red rock because it looks dangerous, like a trap. sigh.

2009-07-22T13:16:00.001-07:00

2009-07-19T19:40:00.000-07:00

STARTING NO STOPPING. 16x20 watercolor, gouache, pencil and acrylic on recycled canvas

16-18

2009-07-18T22:29:00.000-07:00

(apollo era) james brown, lemon tree, tina weymouth

2009-07-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

Running list of people who are hard to draw:

Harmony Korine
Joey Ramone
James Brown

Running list of people who are easy to draw:

Werner Herzog
Tina Weymouth

2009-07-10T18:30:00.000-07:00

going out....................................coming back in

I donated plasma today for the first time! I did not know that plasma donors are limited because females who have ever been pregnant, even if they miscarried or aborted, cannot give plasma due to the particular amount of antibodies present in their blood. Those antibodies can attack some people's systems and make their lungs bleed which cannot be stopped and they will die within 15 minutes! Luckily, I have never been fertilized so I have to give plasma while I can!

When you do give plasma, they take your blood but then they pump you back up with saline solution.

2009-07-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

was this a picture of me or all those strawberries??

13-15

2009-07-07T00:56:00.001-07:00

pomeranian, fangs

fog

surprisingly, i haven't given up yet on this drawing project...
i just had a busy week!
anyways, i now have two failed drawing attempts: a first aid van and
harmony korine.
i will try the latter again.

2009-07-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

2009-06-30T17:34:00.000-07:00

my mom is really hilarious. not like she thinks she's a comedian or tries hard to be funny, she just says some strange things and, largely, i think her special funnyness goes unacknowledged.

in the past few days, she has said some things that are especially good, such as...

my grandma had these photos of floor tiles from my uncle's house because she wanted to trace the things she saw in them, you know, like faces and mystical things. she kept trying to get my mom to say what she saw and my mom said she didn't see anything. finally, she gave in and said the only thing she saw was "a frankenstein smoking a joint."

we always get way too freaked out when we see roaches in the house. the other night she caught one and flushed it down the toilet. i said "you flushed it down the toilet?" kind of surprised she didn't just throw it outside. she said she had done this because she doesn't like to kill them and she likes to think that when they get flushed, the poison (roach spray they are infected with) gets washed off of them and when they get down to the sewer, they can crawl out and have a happy life.

she told me that she made up something called "bride panties" when she was talking to a friend at work. she tricked him into believing that bride panties are like diapers that brides wear when they have on their big poofy wedding dress so in case they have to go, they don't have to take off the dress. and he believed her! she never told him she was making it up. hee hee.

oh mom.

10-12

2009-06-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

royal, netherland dwarf rabbit

snooze

7-9

2009-06-28T15:18:00.000-07:00

michael cera, (a puppy named) mystic, werner herzog (eating his shoe)

2009-06-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

sigh. I almost bought a wedding dress today at Savers. It was 50% off of $50 because it had a yellow tag.
I think that if I ever get married, I will find myself a nice old dress and have it altered. Everyone says it's not that easy to find one but I see lots of them in thrift stores that look pretty nice. This one was great. You can't see it in this picture but there are also little white appliqué flowers here and there on the skirt.
I carried it around for a while until I gave up and put it back. I stood there in the dressing room for a while though, imagining how beautiful it would be if I had the sleeves cut off and the length taken up.
I couldn't actually zip it up, so that made my decision for me.

6 down, 94 to go

2009-06-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

cabbage moth, clementines, goat

3 down, 97 to go...

2009-06-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

i'm embarking on one of those projects that i don't know if i'll be able to finish. i mean, there's no reason why i can't, but i have done so many similar things in my mind and then just forgotten about it, literally, the same day. so, i figure if i post it here, it will give me more of a reason to finish it. because i know all 5 of my "followers" will remind me and encourage me and shower me with good vibes and...who knows, maybe somebody will pay me to finish my project.

100 INTERNET DRAWINGS, BY RHONDA TURNBOUGH

using the simple tools of pencil, pen and ink, i plan to complete 100 drawings of varying subject matter found through the vehicle of Google Image Search. How the subjects are determined are as random as anybody searching for anything on the internet. The result will be a large compilation of my interpretation of life as viewed through the computer. since that is where i live half of my life anyway.
maybe i will make them into a book.

seahorse, ectoplasm, ectoplasm

some new thoughts on some old pictures

2009-06-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

when i first got back to las vegas i spent a lot of time photographing light moving around rooms. my old house was a new space to me again and i didn't really know what i was doing there. the light was really spectacular though, causing prisms and crazy beams to project on the walls. i really liked it. then i got curtains and i haven't noticed any cool things like that happening for a long time.

this was taken while i was on the phone with stephen steinbrink when jennifer and i were driving all of my stuff from austin to las vegas in a moving truck. i had pulled off the road i think to make the phonecall then i took this picture.

i don't know when i took this or why i had that written on my arm because i know i was in austin at the time. but i do know where the phrase "cute rat" originated from... when i lived in chicago, jennifer ianni came to visit me and as we were driving down the street we passed a liquor store called Cut Rate Liquours and jennifer said "Oh! i thought that said CUTE RAT!" i remember thinking that was the funniest thing ever and would be the best name for a liquor store without a doubt!

2009-06-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

1 small painting front & back

2009-06-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

after a lot of screwing around, i finally have the artwork nailed down for the deer tick/ shivers 7" that we are putting out. it went through a lot of changes. initially, i wanted to use 2 of jennie's photos from a new york street fair that i like a lot. but i couldn't make it work for some reason. the text got lost in the image and seth didn't want to do a sticker on the outside of the sleeve. so i started messing with it. i had a version with this back how it is and another 5x7 photo on the front but seth didn't think the minimal look of it quite captured the bands' style which i guess i agree with, begrudgingly. i really liked the layout but i wanted to appease the seth monster. so i came up with this little explosion of sorts for the front and the photo still on the back. i think it works? well, that's what we're going with! i really love jennie's photos and i'm glad our artwork will be seen together like this. kinda fun!

in my more current opinion

2009-06-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

Yo, 15 year-old me...you don't know what the internet is yet. It would take too many digital pages to explain what it is and how human-kind has changed and, undeniably benefited from advancing technologies such as Gmail, myspace, etsy, google image search, and wikipedia. don't worry, you'll figure it all out by the time you're 28. hang in there.
I just hope that this letter finds you in some time-machine ethereal warp zone and you take it to heart.
So, me, I recently found something you wrote for your zine "Yammer Yammer Yammer." You can see it on my blog...I scanned it. (Write this down: Go out and buy a scanner as soon as you have a computer to attach it to. It is a good investment and you will spend less time at Kinkos. YAY!! ...Don't worry about what a blog is.)
I liked the reviews of the root beers, or, whatever it was...a contest of sorts? But, was that a rough draft? Did you consider editing and rewriting that piece at all? Hmm, I guess my advice to you, as an older you looking back, is, try a little harder. It might yield better results. But kudos to you for doing it! It is all awful but you deserve credit for making something.
Well, it should come as no surprise that I still love root beer. I also like beer. I know...weird, right? Actually, I feel kind of bad telling you that but you will learn when you move to Texas (!) that beer is pretty good and not just for bums. Also, your mom is still alive and hasn't touched the stuff for many years! I know you are happy about that, I am too.
But back to the root beer...I want to take a stab at this again, with the 13 years of experience I've had since you wrote the original. So....here goes.....may it inspire you to seek the truth in all that you do. (what does that mean? I don't know either.)

In My Opinion (pertaining to root beer and root beer only):
Here is a partial list and reviews of some root beers that have appeared in my life since the age of 15.

RAMBLIN’
I have to admit, I don’t know when the last time I had Ramblin’ was! This is sad to me, and I’m sure, sad to 15 yo me because I remember exactly what I was referring to back then. It was generic restaurant root beer that tasted pretty good. It was “root beer” and has long since been replaced with Mug and Barq’s- those are our LEAST FAVE root beers and that’s all you can usually get now!!! There are a few places I can remember throughout the years that actually had IBC (the KING of root beers) in their fountain. But it is rare! It is the decline of Ramblin' and the uprising of corporate root beer-esq sodas that I attribute the relative lack of root beer in my life today.
R.I.P. Ramblin'. Oh well.
HENRY WEINHARDT’S
Why wasn’t this on your list!? You must not have known about it yet. I tell you, it is a very delicious treat, made with vanilla, honey essence and sassafras extract. I appreciate their acknowledgment of sassafras- the plant that root beer taste came from before it was deemed harmful to ingest. Now they just have to imitate it or use other derivatives of it. While the taste of this is perhaps overwhelmingly of vanilla and honey, it is still root beer, and a delightful taste sensation at that. The best place to get it is at certain casino buffets in Las Vegas where they dispense it out of a barrel with unlimited refills (they give you a tiny glass so you won’t waste it!)
Sprecher Root Beer Soda
When I lived in Chicago, I was very pleased when I found Sprecher root beer in abundance at most convenience stores. Root beer in the bottle is definitely the way to go and the label is really cute. It’s all german-y and has this gothic-looking crow holding a frosty mug!
I haven’t had it in years but I remember it was good, not amazing. It was pretty much a regular-tasting root beer. But better because of the crow.
Maine Root
A pretty good root beer that you can get at a lot of places now. I first experienced it as a sample at Central Market in Austin. The guy who gave it to me told me he and his brother started making it and decided to sell it. It’s an “all natural” soda made with organic sugar. I bought some at the farmer’s market and they gave me a hugemongus cup of it. I had to keep drinking it non-stop just to finish it, so that kind of killed it for me a little. I still like it though.
Boylan’s
I was excited to try Boylan’s because it had been hyped up to me. I think my friend Michael and I finally found it at Whole Foods in Chicago. But, if memory serves, it was too SOMETHING. Too fancy-tasting, too healthy-sweet maybe. It wasn’t my favorite.
Ruthie’s
This stuff was GREAT! But it is impossible to find! I used to get it at this weird little deli on Division Street in Chicago but then they stopped carrying it. I remember asking about it and they said it had been discontinued. I was heart-broken. The label was of a little girl and a dog and possibly the chasing of a kite.
Virgil’s
Another gourmet root beer from Whole Foods I was excited to try. But I think I only ever bought it once because it’s too expensive and too herbal and healthy. The label is pretty cool though, Virgil is a lumberjack serving soda to children!
IBC
Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you little buddy! I still love IBC! It’s definitely a root beer that has been taken for granted due to its omnipresence at all grocery stores. But do you know what I would do if I went to the store to buy some and it wasn’t there? I would be crestfallen. CRESTFALLEN! (also their black cherry soda and cherry lime-aid is totally fantabulous)
HONORABLE MENTION:
a root beer I haven't tried called Triple XXX! This was recently given to me by Jennifer because of the Modest Mouse song All-Nite Diner where he sings "sign said triple x but they were talkin' bout root beer" I guess I should drink it, it just seemed like I should save it.
Alright...
Although I have chosen not to name a 1st place winner in this version of IN MY OPINION, I think 15 year-old me and I can both agree that root beer is a prize-wining beverage, perhaps only 2nd place to Coke. Snap!

the end

cruise master

2009-06-12T20:20:00.001-07:00

i found this polaroid in the trash at kinkos when i was in high school.

2009-06-12T20:06:00.000-07:00

when i was in high school, i was really into rootbeer. i also made a zine that was really silly and poorly thought out. so when i was about 15, i judged all the rootbeers in my life and made this.
coming soon: my NEW list of favorite rootbeers at age 28.

2009-06-05T11:29:00.000-07:00