in my more current opinion

Yo, 15 year-old me...you don't know what the internet is yet. It would take too many digital pages to explain what it is and how human-kind has changed and, undeniably benefited from advancing technologies such as Gmail, myspace, etsy, google image search, and wikipedia. don't worry, you'll figure it all out by the time you're 28. hang in there.
I just hope that this letter finds you in some time-machine ethereal warp zone and you take it to heart.
So, me, I recently found something you wrote for your zine "Yammer Yammer Yammer." You can see it on my blog...I scanned it. (Write this down: Go out and buy a scanner as soon as you have a computer to attach it to. It is a good investment and you will spend less time at Kinkos. YAY!! ...Don't worry about what a blog is.)
I liked the reviews of the root beers, or, whatever it was...a contest of sorts? But, was that a rough draft? Did you consider editing and rewriting that piece at all? Hmm, I guess my advice to you, as an older you looking back, is, try a little harder. It might yield better results. But kudos to you for doing it! It is all awful but you deserve credit for making something.
Well, it should come as no surprise that I still love root beer. I also like beer. I know...weird, right? Actually, I feel kind of bad telling you that but you will learn when you move to Texas (!) that beer is pretty good and not just for bums. Also, your mom is still alive and hasn't touched the stuff for many years! I know you are happy about that, I am too.
But back to the root beer...I want to take a stab at this again, with the 13 years of experience I've had since you wrote the original. So....here goes.....may it inspire you to seek the truth in all that you do. (what does that mean? I don't know either.)

In My Opinion (pertaining to root beer and root beer only):
Here is a partial list and reviews of some root beers that have appeared in my life since the age of 15.

RAMBLIN’
I have to admit, I don’t know when the last time I had Ramblin’ was! This is sad to me, and I’m sure, sad to 15 yo me because I remember exactly what I was referring to back then. It was generic restaurant root beer that tasted pretty good. It was “root beer” and has long since been replaced with Mug and Barq’s- those are our LEAST FAVE root beers and that’s all you can usually get now!!! There are a few places I can remember throughout the years that actually had IBC (the KING of root beers) in their fountain. But it is rare! It is the decline of Ramblin' and the uprising of corporate root beer-esq sodas that I attribute the relative lack of root beer in my life today.
R.I.P. Ramblin'. Oh well.
HENRY WEINHARDT’S
Why wasn’t this on your list!? You must not have known about it yet. I tell you, it is a very delicious treat, made with vanilla, honey essence and sassafras extract. I appreciate their acknowledgment of sassafras- the plant that root beer taste came from before it was deemed harmful to ingest. Now they just have to imitate it or use other derivatives of it. While the taste of this is perhaps overwhelmingly of vanilla and honey, it is still root beer, and a delightful taste sensation at that. The best place to get it is at certain casino buffets in Las Vegas where they dispense it out of a barrel with unlimited refills (they give you a tiny glass so you won’t waste it!)
Sprecher Root Beer Soda
When I lived in Chicago, I was very pleased when I found Sprecher root beer in abundance at most convenience stores. Root beer in the bottle is definitely the way to go and the label is really cute. It’s all german-y and has this gothic-looking crow holding a frosty mug!
I haven’t had it in years but I remember it was good, not amazing. It was pretty much a regular-tasting root beer. But better because of the crow.
Maine Root
A pretty good root beer that you can get at a lot of places now. I first experienced it as a sample at Central Market in Austin. The guy who gave it to me told me he and his brother started making it and decided to sell it. It’s an “all natural” soda made with organic sugar. I bought some at the farmer’s market and they gave me a hugemongus cup of it. I had to keep drinking it non-stop just to finish it, so that kind of killed it for me a little. I still like it though.
Boylan’s
I was excited to try Boylan’s because it had been hyped up to me. I think my friend Michael and I finally found it at Whole Foods in Chicago. But, if memory serves, it was too SOMETHING. Too fancy-tasting, too healthy-sweet maybe. It wasn’t my favorite.
Ruthie’s
This stuff was GREAT! But it is impossible to find! I used to get it at this weird little deli on Division Street in Chicago but then they stopped carrying it. I remember asking about it and they said it had been discontinued. I was heart-broken. The label was of a little girl and a dog and possibly the chasing of a kite.
Virgil’s
Another gourmet root beer from Whole Foods I was excited to try. But I think I only ever bought it once because it’s too expensive and too herbal and healthy. The label is pretty cool though, Virgil is a lumberjack serving soda to children!
IBC
Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you little buddy! I still love IBC! It’s definitely a root beer that has been taken for granted due to its omnipresence at all grocery stores. But do you know what I would do if I went to the store to buy some and it wasn’t there? I would be crestfallen. CRESTFALLEN! (also their black cherry soda and cherry lime-aid is totally fantabulous)
HONORABLE MENTION:
a root beer I haven't tried called Triple XXX! This was recently given to me by Jennifer because of the Modest Mouse song All-Nite Diner where he sings "sign said triple x but they were talkin' bout root beer" I guess I should drink it, it just seemed like I should save it.
Alright...
Although I have chosen not to name a 1st place winner in this version of IN MY OPINION, I think 15 year-old me and I can both agree that root beer is a prize-wining beverage, perhaps only 2nd place to Coke. Snap!

the end